Confessions #2: Look How Well It Worked For Him.

Posted on by Dr. Linda Agnes Knowles

Confessions of a Former Church Secretary #2

LOOK HOW WELL IT WENT FOR HIM!

By Linda A. Knowles

Wally came in for his work shift at the church. He was busy getting the trash from the administrative offices. Wally looked distraught so Poppy, who was sitting at her desk doing paperwork, figured she might as well ask, “Wally, what’s wrong?”

Wally looked at her, “Well, Ma’am, I’ve tried everything. I tried being a garbage man. That didn’t work and then I tried being a truck driver. That didn’t work either, and I have had a number of other jobs: What’s the name of that donut shop? It’s like two minutes up the street. I tried food delivery. You get the point. Now I have decided there is only one other thing that I have to try because it’s the only answer.”

Poppy now curious, “So what are you going to be now?”

Wally declared, “I’m going to be a pastor.” Poppy’s mouth hung open and was unable to find any words, “You see, Ma’am, nothing else has worked. So clearly the only right option is for me is to be a pastor.”

Poppy said in complete disbelief, finding her words, “But you hate working! You can’t even show up for your shift on time here at the church! What are you going to do as a Pastor?! You are aware Pastors do work, right?”

He looked at Poppy and spoke rather nonchalantly about being a pastor, “Look at how well it worked for Pastor Grant! He has it made in the shade.” Poppy was shaking her head and looking at Wally at the horror of the image she had of Wally being a pastor as he continued to talk, “I’m serious, Ma’am. Look at how well it worked for him! He sits back in his chair, talks for an hour on Wednesday, talks for an hour on Sunday morning and on Sunday Night. And he rakes in the cash!”

Poppy’s composure was about to give way, but she managed to keep her composure together as Wally continued to talk, “He has no worries, Ma’am! Everything goes well for him,” Poppy found herself tilting her head to the side as she was looking at Wally wondering to herself if she was really hearing what she was hearing as Wally continued to talk, “How difficult can it be to serve communion? Others do it for him. He has everyone doing everything for him. Look at how well it has worked for him! He doesn’t have to do anything. He just comes in, sits back in his chair, and he reads.”

Poppy looked at him, beside herself, “No, no, no, he doesn’t just read…”

Wally interjected, “Yes, Ma’am, he does. I’ve seen him. What would you know about what he does?!”

Poppy looked at him sternly and said, “I’m Pastor Grant’s secretary! Do you have any idea what it takes to be a pastor?! Can you do the preparatory work to be a pastor?! Do you know that being a pastor is a calling not just something to do?! Are you ready to buckle down to study Hermeneutics, Eschatology, Old Testament Survey, New Testament Survey?! Could you even sit long enough to study those and those are not the only other subjects you would have to study?! You think Pastor Grant does nothing! Have you seen his schedule?! He does hospital visits, is the chairman at every board meeting, has to keep up with the state of his flock no matter how many there are! He is on the phone praying with people, attends the week day and even night prayer meetings, meets with ministry leaders on a bi-weekly basis, disciples and mentors about five people at the moment, equips the members of the congregation to evangelize. He does marriage counseling, family counseling, and individual counseling! He leads an evangelism team and goes evangelizing in the inner city! He meets with city officials and serves on the board of the local bible college! So are you really thinking that being a pastor is the right option for you?!”

Wally was scratching his head and seemingly confused, “Ma’am, I have only one question.”

Scowling, Poppy asked, “What’s your question?”

Wally stated, “What do you mean by he has to keep up with the state of his flock?”

Poppy sighed, “Lord, help me.”

Confessions #1: Yeah, but is blood gushing out?

Posted on by Dr. Linda Agnes Knowles
Photo From clker.com

CONFESSIONS OF A FORMER CHURCH SECRETARY 1:

YEAH, BUT IS BLOOD GUSHING OUT?

By Linda A. Knowles

No one knows that the church secretary has many bosses as the church has members! At least that is what some church members think.

Daisy can never forget this one particular day, a member of the church who was named Juniper came up to the reception counter, “Daisy, I want to see the Pastor and I want to see him now.”

Daisy responded, “The Pastor is in prayer right now, but he should be finished in about two hours.”

This answer didn’t make Juniper a happy little camper and she became angry, raising her voice, “It’s an emergency, and you need to do your job and interrupt him now!”

Daisy was puzzled by Juniper’s demand and why she was raising her voice at Daisy who trying not to laugh at Juniper’s facial expressions, and Daisy responded accordingly, “I was told by the the Pastor that he is not to be interrupted by anything short of the building being on fire. Therefore, I cannot interrupt him unless you, someone else, or something has set the building on fire.”

All of sudden Juniper burst through the administrative office door which Daisy had forgotten to lock when Daisy had come in that morning and Juniper slammed the door shut.

“Why don’t you do your job?”

Daisy responded, “I am.” Then Daisy reached over and opened the administrative office door and kindly said, “I would appreciate it if you could please leave the office. I will let him know you stopped by when he is done.”

Clearly from the look on her face Juniper was more angry and so Juniper towered over Daisy, and Daisy just looked at her trying to remain serious and not burst out laughing. Daisy asked her, “Is there a problem?”

Juniper responded, “I pay YOUR salary and I pay tithes, and I expect YOU to do your job. “

Then Daisy proceeded to ask, “Did anyone fall and crack their head open?”

She yelled, “No, what kind of a stupid question is that?!”

Daisy said, “A perfectly legitimate question. Is blood gushing out of anyone because that would constitute an emergency?”

Juniper was exasperated and yelled louder, “DAISY! What is wrong with you? No one is gushing blood and no one needs an ambulance in case that is your next question.”

Daisy said, “I wasn’t going to ask you if anyone was in need of an ambulance. I had to determine the nature of the emergency. However, I was going to ask you if you or if anyone was stroking out or about to stroke out because we have a doctor on the premises right now.”

She screamed, “You are incorrigible.”

Suddenly Daisy burst out laughing, “I may be stubborn and obstinate, but I am not incorrigible.”

Worth It All

Posted on by Dr. Linda Agnes Knowles

HEBREWS 2

It was that moment I knew I would be standing alone, but I didn’t see where I had a choice if I wanted a deeper walk with the Lord, if I was to do the task He called me to do.  So with every ounce of strength He gave to me, I stepped out in faith and obeyed.  It was like jumping off a cliff, but when it was done, when it was finally done, I felt like I was able to breathe for the first time in a long time, and freedom came rushing in.

It didn’t matter if those around me understood what I was doing.  The only thing that mattered was doing what God wanted me to do, what He told me to do, and simply following the leading of the Holy Spirit.  It didn’t matter if the words I spoke would be received or not.  I simply had to let go and let God, and then I had to get out of the way in full surrender and say, “It’s all yours, God.  I did what you wanted.  You take care of the rest, and I’ll stay out of the way.”

…because at the end of the day the only thing that matters is GOD’S APPROVAL, not man’s …because when all has been said and done, it is knowing and understanding GOD’S GRACE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH to sustain us …because His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts …because of what Christ did on the cross and because of His resurrection, we are able to live a life of victory.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.  Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.” -Hebrews 12:1-2

You do NOT have to explain your relationship with God to anyone nor do you have to explain how God speaks to you.  Just keep following God, leaning on Him, and relying on Him alone for strength.  His grace is more than enough.

CHAIN 2Whatever God has told you to do, just obey.  Yes, it’s worth it all.  It may not be easy and the road may be rocky, but it’s worth it all.  What influences you?  What is stopping you from obeying God?  Who are you listening to?  What are you allowing your eyes to take in? What do you have to lay down in order to have a deeper walk with God, for Him to take you where He wants to take you?  What will you give up?  Do you care more about the approval of God or the approval of man?  Where does your heart lie?

Lay it all down before the Lord.

Nothing short of full surrender will do

Let Him break the chains.

Much love to all,

L.A. Knowles